We Can't Be Seen Together
by Halawen
Summary: Clare is surprised to find Bianca fulfilling community service hours at Clare's church. They develop a friendship but realize they feel more than friendship but Clare is afraid of her feelings. Can Bianca convince her to explore her feelings?
1. That Smile, the Sparkle in Her Eyes

**Welcome to the new short story! This is dedicated to JUST WHATEVER who requested it.**

 **Legal: I do not own and am not associated with DeGrassi or Epitome**

 **Important things to know before reading:**

 ***Takes place just after the start of Clare's grade 11 year**

 ***Glen and Helen did get married but no one went to the cabin**

 ***Clare and Jake never got back together, they are adjusting to being step-sibs and Clare is friends with Eli again**

 ***Drew and Katie are still dating**

 ***This story deals with exploring feelings and a girl/girl relationship**

 **Ch. 1 That Smile, the Sparkle in Her Eyes**

 **(CLARE)**

"Oh Clare I forgot to tell you that Pastor Eric called yesterday and asked if you could help out in the daycare. I told him you'd be delighted," Mom tells me as we drive to church Sunday morning.

"Gee thanks for volunteering me mom," I sigh while rolling my eyes and Jake chuckles silently.

Mom scolds me for complaining about helping out at church and then begins talking to Glen about getting together with the Michaelson's for dinner. Glen parks at the church a few minutes later and we all get out. I head to the daycare room since Mom volunteered me.

"Hi Mrs. Frewer I'll be w…Bianca?" I exclaim seeing the raven haired girl in my church is a bit of a shock.

"Clare thank heavens I am so happy to see a familiar face," she grins.

"Welcome Clare perhaps you can show Bianca to the kitchen and get some juice for the kids that can have it?" Mrs. Frewer requests.

"Sure this way Bianca," I comment slowly still not sure why she's here, so when we get to the kitchen I decide to ask her. "Umm not that it's not good that you're here but why? Are you here?"

"It's the last part of my community service, fifty hours at the church my lawyer thought it would be good for my soul or something. After this my sentence is done, of course I'll still be on probation for six months. I didn't even know you went to this church, of course I don't really know anything about you."

"I don't really know anything about you either actually. Alli told me you could dance, I know you have a bad girl rep and that's about it. Well that and you tempted Drew into cheating," I comment.

"Let's see I know you're smart and all into writing and you dated Eli for a while before he went nuts and then you dated Jake who's now your stepbrother. That's gotta be pretty weird," Bianca comments.

"Yes very weird," I nod.

We have the juice ready now and we return to the room now full of ten kids. Mrs. Frewer takes the older ones, gives them juice and starts reading to them bible stories with pictures. She gives Bianca and I the duty of watching the three youngest kids from six months to two years.

"I am so not cut out for motherhood," Bianca complains holding out six-month old Andy when he begins to fuss. "What is that smell?"

"He needs to be changed, here take Kayla and keep an eye on Gina and I'll change him," I tell Bianca. Gina is sleeping and two year old Kayla is happily amused with soft blocks so it shouldn't be too much for Bianca to handle.

I change Andy and bring him back, Bianca is a lot happier with him now that he's not stinky but when he starts squirming and tries to get away she gives him back to me. We watch the tiny ones the whole time and Bianca is extremely relieved when the parents begin picking up their kids.

"Bianca as part of your community service you'll clean up in here each Sunday," Mrs. Frewer tells her when all the kids are gone. Bianca looks at the messy room and twists her face at this thought.

"I'll help, after all she doesn't know where everything goes," I comment and Bianca gives me a grateful smile.

"Thanks for helping," Bianca grins when Mrs. Frewer is gone.

"No problem, it wasn't really fair that she stuck you with all the cleanup. Mrs. Frewer has been coming to this church forever, I think she feels like she owns a piece of it. She's also one of the more condescending and pretentious church members although she does seem to do well with the kids."

"Yeah she seemed to be pretty good at wrangling the older ones I guess," Bianca remarks and we're silent for a few minutes as we begin putting toys away. "So now that you and Jake are stepsiblings are you going to be getting back together with Eli?"

"No I don't think so. He seems to be doing pretty well now and I think that's good. He'll always be my first love and hold a special place in my heart but I just don't think we're good together."

"Yeah I know how you feel, I feel the same about Drew. He was really good for me I just wasn't good for him, and let's face it our whole relationship started because I got him to cheat. After that other girls wouldn't go out with him, I didn't mean to drag him down but I do care about him. How awful does it make me that that was the healthiest relationship I've ever had? It started with cheating and then we killed my ex and Drew got beat to shit so I became Vince's slave to keep Drew safe. I could be a soap opera how completely pathetic," Bianca sighs tossing some of the toys in the basket.

"I'm pretty sure I could be on the soap opera with you," I remark and she gives me a dubious look.

"As what the one straight-laced non-screwed up character? St. Clare angel of DeGrassi and everyone's moral compass?" Bianca replies in a cynically sardonic tone.

"No as another screwed up lost character trying to find her way. Even when things seemed like they were pretty good in my life they really weren't. My dad was cheating on my mom for years, my sister brought a pedophile to our house, got drugged and raped and then lost it culminating in her suicide attempt. She left for Africa when I started at DeGrassi and I became interested in boys. I actually miss the biggest dramas being K.C. fighting with Reese and both K.C. and Connor liking me. Everyone knows how K.C. dropped me for Jenna just because I don't feel like I should have to show a lot of skin to be sexy. Things seemed okay for a few months, of course I spent the summer away and didn't have a clue what was going on with my parents. Came back with a new body when puberty hit, new hair and no more glasses and ready start the year fresh. Enter the boy with captivating green eyes and the whole airport of baggage he brought with him. Meanwhile my parents fighting is getting worse and making things worse at home. Of course there was a lot of fighting at school to with Fitz and Eli and Adam. But Eli and I kiss and I think everything is going to be just fine, then he'll barely look at me and I come to find out he has a dead girlfriend that was practically living with him! Let's not forget my attempt to smooth things over by going to Vegas night with Fitz and Eli's mess of problems causing him to poison Fitz and well we all know how that night ended. Then Fitz comes back and Eli gets crazy possessive and when I break up with him he crashes his car just so that I'll come see him! My parent's divorce and I find out about the cheating and maybe lost it on Eli at Above the Dot and then met Jake. I thought we were really good together at least he didn't have all the issues Eli did. Let's not forget Eli's disastrous play about us and Jake. And then when things are finally good with Eli and I again and going really well with Jake we find out our parents are getting married! Okay I flipped a little but I didn't even know Mom was dating Glen, they went out for three months and suddenly they're getting married, coming right on the heels of my dad's wedding to his mistress. Now Jake and I are stepsiblings and I have a stepfather and my dad doesn't even talk to me anymore!"

I sink down on the floor in a huff, Bianca is staring at me and I realize how much of a rant that just was. I bite my lip and look at the floor.

"You're right you could be on the soap opera The Damaged Dames of DeGrassi. Starring Bianca DeSousa as the orphaned bad girl with a string of boys left in her wake. Also starring Clare Edwards, she seems like an angel but she's filled with turmoil and she literally drives boys crazy," Bianca says in an overly dramatic voice and it makes me smile.

"Sorry I guess I had some things to get off my chest."

"That's okay I get it. Guys are trouble and they suck, don't get me wrong they're great in theory and they're great as friends but relationships with boys, teenage boys at least, never go right. And you're right you know you don't need to show skin to be sexy, you Clare Edwards are very sexy. I think the way you dress is nice, demure but sexy," Bianca says and I smile again.

"Thanks, I'd tell you that you were sexy too but you know you ooze sex appeal," I comment.

"It's just confidence really, that and knowing how to get in a guy's head. Guys are simple creatures, teasing them and putting the idea of sex in their head, which for teenage guys isn't hard at all. So is it really weird living with Jake after dating him?"

"Yeah it's pretty strange, he was gone all summer which was probably for the best. He came back for the wedding then he and Glen moved in, it was a lot of adjustment all at once. Not to mention that we share a washroom and he still walks around the house shirtless quite often. We're kind of adjusting, at least I had an older sister so I know what it's like to live with an older sibling but Jake was an only child until now."

"I always forget that you're Darcy's sister, you two are nothing alike, you don't look alike and seem to have nothing in common. Not that Owen and his younger brother have much in common either and they don't look alike but they share some commonalities. You and Darcy don't seem to have anything in common."

"Yeah we really don't have much in common, she was more of a suppressed wild child but then never quite went through things, maybe half a wild child. She hardly thought about anything and I tend to overthink everything," I comment and look around the room seeing that we're done cleaning up. "So what are plans now that your community service is done for the day?"

"Don't have any, might call Owen or something," Bianca shrugs.

"We usually go out to lunch after church do you want to come with? You could come to my house after and hang out, if you want," I tell her. This is the most time I've ever spent with Bianca but I don't really want her to leave and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's just that I'd like a buffer for me and my family, things are pretty interesting at home since we're all adjusting to being a family and living in one house.

"Yeah sure if it's okay with your folks," Bianca says.

"I'm sure it will be fine."

We grab our stuff and I turn out the lights as we leave the room. My family is waiting for us on the steps, Jake looks surprised to see Bianca while Mom and Glen are merely curious.

"I didn't know you went to this church Bianca," Jake comments.

"Mom can Bianca come to lunch and come over after?"

"Sure Honey that will be fine, it's nice to meet you Bianca," Mom nods.

"You too Mr. and Mrs. Martin," Bianca smiles.

"Well everyone in the car then," Glen says.

"Actually I have my own car Clare can ride with me," Bianca speaks up.

"Okay follow us to the restaurant then, we'll eat at Swiss Chalet up the street," Glen tells her and Bianca nods.

I follow her to her car, she unlocks the passenger side and opens the door for me to get in. She goes around to the driver's side and gets in while I try to pull my seatbelt but it's not coming.

"Umm the seatbelt isn…"

"Oh sorry it snags sometimes," Bianca says.

She twists around leaning over me to get the seatbelt and maneuver it into being unstuck. She's extremely close now, her hair smells like roses and when I inhale her scent my stomach fills with butterflies. She unsticks the seatbelt and pulls it across me, she snaps it in and her hand brushes mine sending a thrilling shock through me. This is everything I felt that first time I saw Eli, after he ran over my glasses and handed them back to me.

"Thanks," I almost whisper as Bianca sits in her seat and buckles up herself. She starts driving and I have only one thought in my mind, _"Can I really feel that way about Bianca?!"_

 **(BIANCA)**

I glance at Clare and she bites her lip looking out the window. Since we got in my car she's been acting a little nervous and I'm not sure why, she was completely fine until we got in my car. I wonder if she's feeling the same things I am, at first I thought I was just happy to have a familiar face at this community service gig. After all, when I first got there the stuffy old church lady looked down her nose at me and spoke down to me like I was an idiot. I was thinking the whole thing would be a drag I suck with kids and Mrs. Frewer was not nice to me and then Clare showed up. I hardly know her; we haven't really spent any time together aside from what little time we both happened to be at Drew's when I was dating him. Still she was a familiar face and she didn't treat me like an idiot. I didn't feel much of anything but mild annoyance while we were watching the kids, but afterwards while we were cleaning up talking, more specifically when she was ranting, I started feeling a certain admiration for her. It was more than that though, I meant it when I said she was sexy she really is. More than just appreciating another good looking girl I had a desire to kiss her, taste her lips and caress her skin.

I've never been sexually attracted to a girl before and had no idea what to do. If Clare was a guy I'd flirt with her, caress her cheek and tempt her into kissing me. I know how to deal with guys I like and want to be with, I know how to deal with girls that are competition and I have one or two girls I consider friends but I have no idea how to deal with a girl that I like and want to be with. Even if I did I don't know that she's suddenly nervous because she does feel the same way. And if she does I don't know what she'd do about it, if she'd do anything or about it or even know what she was feeling or be willing to experiment and explore her feelings. Then again she might, I thought she was just the straight-laced, goody-two-shoes, know-it-all she often appears to be at school but after hearing her rant realized she's really not.

I park at the restaurant close to Clare's family and we get out of the car going in with them. We sit in a booth, Clare sitting between Jake and I and she's still nervous.

"So Bianca you go to school with Clare and Jake?" Mrs. Martin asks as we begin eating.

"Yeah I'm a senior this year like Jake," I reply.

"We have homeroom together," Jake speaks up and I nod in agreement.

"I don't recall ever seeing you at the church before," Mrs. Martin comments as a slightly off-handed way to ask what I was doing there.

"I don't actually go to church but I have to fulfill some community service hours there," I explain.

"Oh?" Mrs. Martin questions in a clearly disapproving tone. "You were arrested?"

"Mom!" Clare censures her mother.

"Yes I was, I turned my boyfriend, if you can call him that, into the cops after Adam was shot at prom last year."

"That was terrible we heard about that, poor Adam he was lucky it was a through and through in the shoulder," Mr. Martin comments.

"It's kind of a long of story really but I knew where Vince's hideouts were and his network for selling drugs, people he'd hurt. I got him arrested but he'd forced me to hold drugs and sell them. I didn't get off completely even for turning them in but I was given community service and probation, it could have been a lot worse."

"That was very brave of you to do that," Mr. Martin says and I smile.

"Wasn't that a lovely sermon today," Mrs. Martin comments and it seems she no longer has questions about me.

While the adults are talking about the sermon Clare, Jake and I start talking about school. I offer to pay for myself but Clare's parents tell me it's not necessary.

"Glen and I have errands to run we were going to drop Clare and Jake at home but since you're here Bianca perhaps you could take them home and save us the trouble," Mrs. Martin comments when we're outside.

"You're just volunteering everyone today mother," Clare remarks in a caustic tone.

"That's okay I don't mind driving you both over, I'm coming over to hang out anyway it's no trouble."

"Thank you Bianca," Mrs. Martin smiles.

Clare and Jake follow me to my car and Clare gets in the back but the seatbelt doesn't stick this time. Jake shows me how to get to their house and I park in front behind his truck.

"I'm going to hang out with Mo. Later," Jake remarks as soon as I park.

"Nice house," I comment as I follow Clare to her front door.

"Thanks, we've lived here as long as I can remember," Clare replies while she unlocks the door and we go in. "Do you want to watch TV?" Clare asks after she locks the door again.

"Sure," I shrug.

We sit on the sofa and she turns on the TV, she sits next to me and starts flipping channels. We watch TV for a short time but there isn't much on and after a while she turns it off.

"Do you want something to drink? Glen and Jake built a pretty nice deck and it's nice and sunny out," Clare says.

"Yeah sounds good."

Clare goes to the kitchen and pours us both some lemonade. She hands me a glass and we both go out to the deck sitting in lounge chairs.

"Was the rest of your community service at Omar's office?" Clare questions.

"That was part of it I had to pick up trash too."

"You live with your aunt right?"

"Yeah in a crap apartment and we don't get along. She resents me I guess, she's not exactly the motherly type and I was just dropped on her. She tends to just leave me to my own devices and she works nights at the casino. It's probably better that way but I do wish she'd show some interest in me sometimes, show that she cares."

"Sorry that must be hard. I feel like my dad's doing that now, pulling away from me. He's married to his mistress now and she has kids of her own so I guess he's their dad now. They were supposed to share the house you know and have shared custody, I haven't seen my dad since June and haven't heard from him in over a month."

"That sucks, but you have Glen right?"

"Yeah I guess; he's not really taken on the role of dad to me but mom hasn't really done that for Jake either. I guess that will take some more adjustment or mom is going to stick to parenting just me and Glen will stick to parenting just Jake."

We talk some more and find out we have a few things in common, she's become a Dead Hand fan because of Adam and Eli, we both like many of the same books and movies too. We're still on the deck and talking when her parents get home.

"Jake is staying for dinner at Mo's so Glen and I are going out do you two want order pizza for dinner?" Mrs. Martin asks coming out to the deck.

"Yeah thanks Mom," Clare smiles. "Is it okay if Bianca spends the night?"

"That's fine," Mrs. Martin replies before going back inside.

"If you want to spend the night that is," Clare remarks.

"Yeah I do," I grin and Clare smiles. Her mom leaves us some money and we order a pizza and watch movies all evening. We're still doing so when Jake gets home and he promptly finishes off the rest of our pizza. "If I'm going to stay the night I should probably go get some stuff from my place."

"I can come with you," Clare offers.

"Uh sure," I nod and Clare tells Jake we'll be right back. "I have to warn you that my place is nothing like yours," I tell Clare as we begin driving.

"Are you embarrassed to show me where you live?" Clare asks.

"Actually yes," I admit. Never really cared about anyone else seeing my apartment, not even Drew but for some reason I actually really care what Clare thinks.

"Bianca DeSousa you mean to tell me that you the hottest and toughest girl at DeGrassi, possibly in all of Riverdale, thinks what little ol' me thinks?" Clare replies with just a slight teasing laced in her voice.

"I care quite a bit actually and I'm not the hottest girl in school, I think you're probably the hottest girl in school."

"I'm not the hottest girl in school," Clare laughs shaking her head.

"Sure you are all voluptuous with incredible blue eyes and those enticing cherub lips," I comment and Clare bites her lip brushing a curl behind her ear. "Well this is it," I sigh parking at the building.

"It's not that bad," Clare says and I give her a look.

"It's crappy but it's a roof over my head," I reply unlocking the door to the building.

We take the elevator up to the fifth floor where I live and Clare follows me to the apartment. I have nothing to say about the small apartment, I don't even have my own room I sleep in the den. Clare looks around my room a little while I pack. There's not much to see, the room's a mess and there's a lot of posters on the walls but that's it besides a bed. I don't have a dresser just some crates in the closet. I pack pretty quickly and we go back to Clare's house, her parents are home and we go up to Clare's room. We get ready for bed early but stay up late talking more about boys and family and bad relationships. I'm sleeping on the floor on a very comfortable air mattress and I dream about Clare all night. I dream about kissing her and holding her, I wake up before she does and watch her sleep. She wakes up before her alarm goes off, her eyes open and lock with mine and she smiles, grinning because I'm grinning at her and in that moment I know. I know she feels the same way about me because I see it in her eyes. She smiles a little more and her eyes sparkle when she sees how I'm looking at her but then her smile drops, she shuts her eyes and she gets up quickly. She's scared.

"I have to use the washroom and then you should snag it before Jake goes in," Clare says leaving her room for the washroom.

I grab my change of clothes and toiletries and when Clare comes out of the washroom I go in. I get ready for school and when I come out of the washroom I find that Clare's downstairs eating breakfast. Glen is already gone but her mom eats breakfast with us and I know I shouldn't say anything in front of her mom. Jake comes downstairs and says he'll get something to eat at school before leaving in his truck. So when Clare and I are done eating we go to school in my car.

"I know you felt it this morning," I tell her.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Clare responds.

"Yes you do, when you woke up this morning and our eyes locked you felt what I did," I affirm just as I pull into school.

"I'm not a lesbian," she shoots back looking out the window.

"Neither am I," I tell her as I park.

"Then we felt nothing," Clare says jumping out of the car and just about running inside. I grab both our backpacks and follow her inside.

"You forgot your backpack," I comment handing it to her when I find Clare at her locker.

"Thanks," she says taking the backpack and I notice both our exes in the hall and giving us curious looks.

"Come here," I insist and she shakes her head. "We can talk about it in the hallway then," I reply.

"No let's go somewhere private," she says and we walk down the hall. We turn the corner and I find an empty classroom opening the door.

"Bianca I didn't f…"

I cut her off by crushing my lips to hers, I feel Clare's breath hitch in her throat. Within the next second I expect her to start kissing me back or to slap me…

 **The update on Thursday, May 26** **th** **will pick up from right here in Clare's pov.**


	2. Hold Me Close & Tell Me How You Feel

**Don't forget next week is One Shot Week and then it's Short Story month so this week is the last updates for long stories until August.**

 **Ch. 2 Hold Me Close & Tell Me How You Feel**

 **(CLARE)**

"Bianca I didn't f…"

She cuts me off by crushing her lips to mine. A breath hitches in my throat and I completely freeze. My mind completely freezes and so does my body and then on instinct my lips begin moving and I start kissing her back. Exhaling that breath that had caught in my throat and releasing it against Bianca's lips. She smiles and her soft hand gently cups my face as she deepens the kiss slightly. Butterflies fill my stomach, a tickling thrill rushes through me. I felt it the first time I kissed Eli and this feeling terrifies me, I pull out of the kiss and turn my head so I'm not looking at Bianca.

"I can't," I whisper.

"That's funny I was sure those were your lips I was just kissing," she responds with a sardonic tone. I just bite my lip and keep my head turned. "You kissed me back, I know you felt it too. You can deny your feelings all you want Clare but I know you feel it too. It's understandable to be scared b…"

"I'm not scared Bianca I'm terrified. I've never had feelings for a girl and that terrifies me and yes okay I have feelings for you but my mom will freak, more than freak she might actually kill me. Or have me sent away or something, you don't understand she's not tolerant at all, she doesn't even know the truth about Adam because she'd tell me never to see him again."

"So you're going to walk away from something that could be amazing because you're scared? I never figured you for a coward."

"I can't do this; my mom will never understand. I ca…" I stop talking when the door opens and Owen comes in. He closes the door behind him.

"If you don't want your mom to know then keep it quiet," Owen comments.

"This is a private conversation and who asked you?" I bark at Owen crossing my arms.

"I saw you two come in and I was listening and Bianca is one of my best friends. I think the two of you would be good together. Her relationships always end in disaster and it seems to me all of yours do too. This can't be any worse right and you don't have to tell anyone," Owen insists.

"So what sneak around and lie to everyone that doesn't sound like a relationship."

"You don't have to sneak around entirely. You two are friends now right? So you can eat lunch together and stuff without anyone thinking it's strange just keep PDA to a minimum. Have Bianca for sleepovers and all those things girls do and you can go on dates but go somewhere where no one will recognize you. She can be at your house as long as you watch what you do and say and your family will only see what they want to see."

"Yeah I guess that could work, thanks Owen," I smile.

"We have to get to class soon but you guys can have lunch today and talk. Set boundaries for school and the house and such," Owen comments.

"We'll have to eat somewhere private then," I remark.

"You can eat at my house. No one will be home it will be totally private," Owen offers.

"Cool I'll meet you at lunch then," Bianca smiles. I leave the classroom first and go to my locker. As soon as I'm away from Bianca and Owen I begin to doubt this whole thing.

"I didn't know you were friends with Bianca," Eli comments as I open my locker.

"She was at church yesterday, the last of her community service. She and I were working in the day care and she came to lunch and spent the night. She's really nice actually and it turns out we have some things in common."

"Yeah I've hung out with her a bit I was just surprised to see you with her, so was Drew."

"Just when did you and Drew become friends?" I inquire back. I'm really not that interested in whether or not he's friends with Drew, but I don't feel like talking about me and Bianca just now.

"He wants to throw a surprise party for Adam's birthday and was enlisting my help. He wanted you to help too but when we saw you we were with Bianca we were sort of shocked and curious. On Adam's birthday you and I can take Adam to dinner. On Saturday Drew's going to take him out while we get stuff set up at their house," Eli tells me.

"Sounds good," I smile as the bell rings.

"Walk you to class?" Eli offers and I smile. He takes me to class and waves to Adam who's in class sitting at his desk.

"I hear you're friends with Bianca now," Adam comments when I sit down.

"Word really travels fast," I remark.

"This is high school rumor is the life blood of this place. Besides I heard Jake saying she spent the night," Adam replies.

"Adam when did you…how did y…" I stumble over the question before giving up on it. I don't even know that I'm lesbian or bi or just needing something different. Anyway even if Adam did answer me being transgender is not the same. "Never mind," I shake my head as the teacher comes in. Adam furrows his brow at me but doesn't say anything as class begins.

When class ends we walk out with Jenna, Alli, Dave and Connor. All of us except for Dave have math second period so we walk together and Dave leaves us when he gets to the gym. Math is fairly easy, at least for me, and I finish the work early which is a problem because then I begin thinking about Bianca. When I think about the kiss we shared I fill with butterflies again and I bite my lip. When I think about potentially being in a relationship with a girl and how people, especially my family will react, those butterflies turn to rocks and I get all nervous. When the bell rings for lunch I'm practically a wreck.

"You want to eat in the caf or at The Dot?" Adam questions as we walk out.

"Actually I'm eating with Bianca and Owen," I reply.

"Owen?"

"He's friends with Bianca and invited me to lunch. I'll see you in fourth," I tell Adam and walk to the front. When I get to the steps Owen and Bianca are waiting for me and I go with them to Owen's car.

I've never been to Owen's house before as I've never had a reason to. He lives a couple of blocks from Adam in a large house with a big yard. Owen unlocks the door and turns off the alarm letting us in.

"Bianca and I have a spare third period but I'll take you back to school before lunch is over," Owen tells me as he locks the door again.

"I have a spare next period too," I inform them.

"Sweet why don't you two talk in my room and I'll order us some pizza for dinner," Owen says.

"Okay sure," I nod.

"This way," Bianca tells me motioning to the stairs. I follow her up the stairs and she opens a bedroom door. Bianca sits on the bed and I begin pacing the room. "So should we talk about boundaries?" Bianca asks.

"I don't even know if we should do this. I can't stop thinking about it and stressing about it. When I think about the kiss I feel great but wh…"

"Stop," Bianca insists pulling me down to the bed and to sit next to her. "Just breathe a second and forget the other stuff. How did you feel when we kissed? Because I felt great when we kissed."

"You did? How did the kiss make you feel?"

"When our lips touched I felt a spark and an instant connection. It made me feel beautiful, the only guy I was ever with that made me feel beautiful was Drew."

"You don't know you're beautiful?"

"I don't feel it, not with any other person except you and Drew. I feel sexy, I know how to be sexy. But that's not always good, when you're nothing but sexy to a guy that's kind of all they want you for. Drew is the only guy I've ever loved and the only one to make me feel beautiful. Even he didn't make me feel that way for a long time, I was still Boiler Room Bianca with him for a while before I let him see the real me but not with you. I didn't have any of my guards up with you, I was just myself and it felt good and I felt beautiful, you make me feel beautiful, special even nurtured in a way. I never felt a connection or spark when I kissed Drew. I admit I was in love, I like how he took care of me, no other guy had ever done that and he really cared about me. But it only took one kiss with you to make me forget all that," Bianca says and I smile.

"My stomach filled with butterflies when we kissed. I felt a surge of energy, this tickling sort of rush. I felt the same when I first kissed Eli but that also frightened me. Things with Eli were great until they exploded. We're friends now but it took a long time to get back to that point. And I've never felt that way about a girl, I've never been sexually attracted to a girl. As good as it felt when we kissed when we weren't kissing I was filled with anxiety and just thinking about being with a girl is…I don't know. This whole thing is incredibly confusing and I…"

Bianca cuts me off by crushing her lips to mine again and I exhale, "Hush. Don't worry about anything else right now did that feel good? Did it give you butterflies and a spark and make you feel beautiful?"

"Yes," I nod.

"Then I don't care about anything else. We'll figure the rest out, I've never done this either, we'll learn as we go. All I know is I've never felt like this before and I don't want to walk away from it. You never know how a relationship will turn out but when you like someone you have to take that leap of faith. Do you want to try this or not? Don't think about your fears or the things you don't know just think about how you feel right…now," Bianca whispers touching her lips to mine just after she says now.

"Yes I want to try," I whisper when she takes her lips away.

"Good so do I. Do you want to talk about boundaries now? I mean things we can't do in public or around your family?"

"Let's keep it simple, in public we just act like friends. Just act with me like you would any other girlfriend, I mean friend that's a girl."

"Yeah I don't really have any friends that are girls. My closest friends are Owen and Fitz and I flirt with them, it doesn't mean anything it's just flirting."

"Okay then, no kissing in public but a little PDA is okay, not holding hands but an occasional arm around me that appears to everyone else as innocent friendship and that sort of thing. To everyone but us and Owen it will look like we're just friends, at least for now."

"PIZZA," Owen hollers into the house.

"Let's eat," Bianca says standing up and taking my hand.

"I know he's your friend but I'm really surprised Owen agreed to help with this. I thought he was homophobic," I remark.

"Oh yeah you haven't met Tris," Bianca comments as we go out to the hallway.

"Tris?"

"Tristan, Owen's brother," Bianca remarks pointing to a picture of the Milligan family hanging in the stairway. I see a slightly chubby boy with red hair next to Owen.

"I've seen him he started at DeGrassi this year."

"Yeah and he's gay, came out last year," Bianca informs me and I stop walking.

"His little brother is gay!" I exclaim in a shocked whisper. "He threw Adam into a door when you found out about him. He tormented Riley and Zane last year."

"He had just found out about Tris last year and was taking it out on Riley and Zane. Adam was my fault and we both apologized. I was just shocked about Adam and I freaked. Fitz and Owen have always looked out for me and when I asked them to take care of Adam Owen got a little over zealous. Adam and I are good friends now and we've both apologized. Besides Adam was not like you he's a guy and then finding out he was a girl, I mean not a girl but…"

"I get it," I cut her off before she keeps tripping over an explanation and she smiles.

"Are you two going to keep gossiping on the stairs or come and eat?" Owen calls.

"Sorry I was telling her about Tris," Bianca says as we go down the stairs to the kitchen to eat.

"Oh uh yeah you haven't met my brother," Owen comments scratching the back of his head uncomfortably.

"Yeah I almost had a heart attack when I found out he was gay given your past behavior. But Bianca explained and you are helping us so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt."

 **(BIANCA)**

"Do you want to come over and stay the night again?" Clare asks catching me in the hall after school. "I'll just tell Mom you're sleeping over again and Jake is sleeping at Mo's tonight."

We've been…I'm not sure you can really call it dating and we haven't even called the other one our girlfriend yet. Experimenting perhaps? Having fun? Figuring things out? Well whatever we've been that for four and half days. After leaving Owen's house Monday we went back to school and it was like nothing had changed. Clare went to class, we had after school activities after and I went home. I thought maybe Clare was chickening out but she called that night and we talked for hours. People began getting used to seeing us together at school and everyone but Owen simply thinks we became fast friends. With school and Clare having the paper after school while I have Bright Sparks we haven't had much alone time these last few days. And Clare would often eat lunch with her friends. We would always spend our spare together though, usually at either her house or Owen's but we usually did homework. She was still kind of nervous about the whole situation and was always nervous to kiss. I usually had to surprise her with a kiss but once I got her kissing she usually didn't want to stop. We haven't had much alone time this week but now it's Friday afternoon and school just let out.

"Definitely," I smile and Clare grins, I put my arm around her shoulders and we walk to my car. We get in and I drive us to her place, we grab our backpacks and I follow her as she unlocks the door.

"You want a snack or something?" Clare asks after locking her front door again.

"No thanks I'm not hungry. Do you have any weekend homework?" I question.

"No," she shakes her head, "want to watch TV?"

I shrug and we sit down to watch TV. After about an hour Clare's Mom returns home and Clare pauses the TV.

"Hi Bianca nice to see you again," Mrs. Martin greets me with a smile.

"Is it okay if Bianca stays the night tonight?"

"Sure that's fine, you'll have the house to yourselves for a while, Glen and I are having dinner with friends tonight and Jake's at Mo's. There's leftovers but I'm guessing you'd rather order pizza for dinner?"

Clare and I both nod so Mrs. Martin gives Clare some money before she goes upstairs. Mr. Martin comes home a short time later and says hello, Clare tells him I'm spending the night before he goes upstairs to get ready for their dinner. Clare orders pizza and her parents leave about half an hour later. We find a movie on TV and pause it when the pizza comes. After pizza we have ice cream for dessert and finish watching the movie before going up to Clare's room. We set up the air mattress on the floor for me and Clare decides to get into her pajamas, which she does in the washroom, so while she's in there I do the same. When she comes out I take her hand pulling her to the bed.

We lie on our sides and I snatch her lips before she can say anything. I cup her face and massage her lips with mine. After a few minutes my tongue slides between my lips and licks across her bottom lip requesting entry. Clare pulls in a deep breath but her lips open and my tongue slips between her lips. My tongue tangles around hers and caresses inside her mouth. We've kissed before with this much passion but never on her bed and I'm getting kind of hot. My hand begins stroking her skin, her cheek, earlobe the back of her neck. I'm going on instinct and without thinking I begin stroking along her arm. I lift her shirt and begin caressing her stomach. She gasps and pulls in a breath but only deepens the kiss. After a few moments my hand crawls up her skin and works under her bra quickly. Just as my fingertips caress the silken skin and supple flesh of her breasts she grabs my hand pulling it out.

"Stop," she commands biting her lip and looking away, "I'm not ready for that, not with anyone."

"Sorry I guess old habits die hard," I apologize.

"But you're not a sex object to me Bianca, I want to be with you not just screw you and forget about you," she says and I smile.

"I want the same with you, but I also like the feel of your very soft skin," I tell her and now she smiles. "I think we should go on a date tomorrow night, our first official one. We can go to Scarborough or Mississauga or even farther if you like."

"I'd like to go on a date," Clare says and her smile gets a little bigger. "Let's go down to the living room and watch another movie, we can cuddle together until my parents get home."

"I'd like that," I grin.

We get up she takes my hand as we go down to the living room. Clare turns on the TV and she puts in a DVD. I lie lengthwise on the sofa and Clare comes over, she lies with her back against me and I put my arm around her. We stay just like that until we hear a key in the lock and we both sit up. We don't just jump to opposite sides of the sofa but we're not touching anymore, just sitting close together like two friends watching a movie.

"How was dinner?" Clare asks when her parents come in.

"It was nice. We're going to bed now so keep the noise down please girls," Mrs. Martin requests.

"We will Mom," Clare says.

We wait for her parents to go upstairs and then when we don't hear any more noises we lie down again and I hold her.

 **The next update will be Saturday, July 16** **th** **during Short Story Month and will probably begin with their date.**


	3. The One I Want

**It's pretty short tonight it's been a busy Saturday. Enjoy the Clianca cuteness!**

 **Ch. 3 The One that I Want**

 **(BIANCA)**

When I stop in front of Clare's house she comes out before I can even get out of the car.

"You didn't even let me come to the door," I tease her as she gets in and buckles up.

"I didn't know you were supposed to."

"I'm kidding, I just like when you nervously bit your lip it's sexy," I tell her.

She smiles and looks down brushing some hair behind her ear. Just erring on the side of caution I drive us all the way to Richmond Hill before we find a restaurant to eat at. It's a nice restaurant although not entirely romantic and a little loud with a few families that have young kids eating here. Although I suppose it's best, we're both new at this and kind of exploring and feeling our way through this. So I imagine if it was very romantic and mostly couples Clare might feel uncomfortable. We get a table and sit down across from each other, and before we can begin browsing the menu a waiter asks us if we want something to drink. After looking at the menu a second and telling him what we want we look back at the menus to decide what to eat.

"It's a little expensive, I hope the portions are big. You want to split something?" Clare asks.

"Yeah sure," I nod.

After a moment of looking at the menu we decide on what to get and I order for both of us when the waiter returns with our drinks. We sit there in silence for a bit before making small talk, mostly about school and our families and our childhoods. Clare seems uncomfortable at first but she relaxes by the time our food comes. I'm not sure if she's nervous that someone we know will see us or that anyone might infer that we're on a date. We're not holding hands or kissing over the table or even sitting on the same side so it simply looks like we're two friends eating out.

"Should we split the check?" Clare asks when the waiter brings the bill.

"I'll pay for dinner and you can pay for dessert," I tell her and she smiles.

"I'm not hungry for dessert yet," Clare comments when we leave the restaurant.

"There's a mini-golf place down the street," I point out and she smiles again.

We walk down to the mini-golf place and each pay our own entrance fee. We have fun and Clare is relaxed, we still just look like two friends hanging out but I'm letting her take the lead. She wins mini-golf in a stroke of luck and then we play in the arcade for a bit where I win at air hockey and skee-ball. Now Clare's ready for dessert and we walk back to the car. I drive around for a bit before finding an ice cream place and I stop. Clare pays for the ice cream but we get back in my car and I drive us to a parking lot at a park and we eat the ice cream. We don't say much but we don't need to we're just enjoying the time together.

"I know Adam's party is next Saturday but maybe we can go out Sunday?" I ask when I take Clare home.

"Yeah that sounds good. Why don't you come in? Jake is sleeping at Mo's and my parents went to a party, they'll probably be home soon but you've spent the night before."

I smile and turn off the car coming in with Clare. We sit in her living room watching TV, while no one is home I put my arm around her and she leans into me. When her parents get home we move apart slightly. We watch TV late into the night before going to bed. We both regret staying up so late when her mom wakes us up early the next morning. I have to work in the daycare again and Clare volunteers to work with me. I stay with her and her family again all day, and even sleep over again after going home to get some clothes. When we get to school Monday I'm surprised to find an invitation from Drew to Adam's birthday party Saturday. Adam and I had become friendly when I was dating Drew but we weren't that close, not sure I could even call us friends and I know Katie's not very fond of me so finding the invitation is a surprise. I'm happiest about it because I know Clare will be there and I text her to let her know I'll be there too.

 **Bianca: Looks like I'll be at Adam's birthday party Saturday.**

 **Clare: Maybe we can sneak away for a few minutes.**

Her reply comes with a winking, smiling emoticon and it makes me smile. I thought I'd be bored Saturday with Clare at the party but now I'm looking forward to Saturday.

 **(CLARE)**

"That was Drew they're on their way back turn out the lights," Eli instructs after receiving a text.

We're all gathered in the Torres basement for Adam's surprise party. Katie isn't here because she and her family are gone for the weekend. Bianca is here though, we've talked a little, people have seen us around school but everyone thinks were just friends. Eli is here of course, so are Alli, Jenna, Dave, Connor, Wes, Hannah, Liam, K.C., Fiona and Imogen.

We turn out the lights but don't hide we'll simply yell surprise when Adam and Drew open the basement door and turn the lights back on. Everyone waits with anticipation in the dark, waiting for the door to open, a few people whispering quietly. Then the door opens and the lights come back on.

" **SURPRISE HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADAM,** " we all yell and Adam laughs.

"You guys got me, I had no idea," Adam smiles hugging me and then Eli before his brother.

Adam talks to a few people while Eli and I get the cake ready. Then we sing Happy Birthday and Adam blows out the candles. Eli cuts the cake and I hand out the pieces of cake after Adam takes the piece he wants. Eli and I get our pieces last and sit on the fireplace because there's nowhere else to sit. After cake Adam begins opening presents.

Eli and I already gave Adam his presents from us when we took him to dinner on his actual birthday so I get up to get some water from the fridge. I start to open the bottle but when I notice Bianca talking to Drew I stop. Bianca has her back to me but he's obviously flirting with her. Bianca laughs at something and it looks like she's flirting with him as well. My chest feels the panic of jealousy and I stay in the kitchen watching them a moment. When she touches his arm after he says something to her I'm sure they're flirting and I don't want to watch it anymore.

I try to ignore them, try to sit down and talk with Alli and Jenna but I keep glancing at Drew and Bianca. I realize if I keep noting them it's going to get noticed so I decide to remove myself for a few minutes. So I excuse myself to the washroom and use the one upstairs, I know Adam won't mind. Audra and Omar are gone so the upstairs is dark and empty. Instead of going into the washroom I just sit on the sofa in the dark. I take a deep breath and try to tell myself she was just talking to Drew and it meant nothing, I talk to Eli all the time. I try to tell myself that but it's not working. When the door opens I look over to see all it is, the person is in silhouette but I know it's Bianca by her curls. She closes the door and comes over sitting on the sofa with me.

"You should have told me that we were sneaking away," Bianca comments and leans in trying to kiss me but I turn away. "What's wrong?" She asks.

"We shouldn't kiss here; someone could come upstairs."

"Okay let's go up to Drew's room," Bianca replies taking my hand and pulling me up the stairs. We sit on Drew's bed and she leans in again and again I turn away. I was jealous when I saw her and Drew talking. I didn't want to be and I hate being jealous, I hate the whole emotion. "Okay what is it? Do you not like making out in my ex's room?"

"It is kind of weird but that's not all. I saw you with Drew and I got jealous, I know it was stupid but I couldn't help it."

"It's not stupid," Bianca laughs, "it shows you care and that you want me. I want you too. And for the record I was thanking Drew for inviting me and he was asking about Bright Sparks. Now shut up and kiss me before they notice we're missing and we have to return downstairs."

I smile and our lips join together, we share a passionate kiss but only for a moment. We return downstairs both claiming to have used the washroom. Adam's birthday party continues a few more hours before his parents return home and kick everyone out. Bianca offers me a ride home as we're leaving, I accept and no one thinks anything of it because it looks like an innocent ride. When we get to my house I invite Bianca to stay the night. We stay up watching TV and talking but with everyone home we don't do anything else. Still I'm happiest when I'm around Bianca, I smile when I wake in the morning and see her asleep on the floor. I'm still wearing the smile when I go down to get coffee.

"So when do we get to meet the new boy Clare?" Mom asks and the smile disappears.

"New boy? What new boy?" I question with my back turned as I pour the coffee.

"Honey you've been wearing that new relationship smile all week I know there's a new boy so when do we get to meet him? Why don't you invite him to dinner tonight?"

"Tonight? Umm I'm not sure tonight is good."

"You won't know until you call him," Mom replies.

"Yeah I'll ask," I say slowly before taking my coffee and going upstairs to my room. I open the door sitting on my bed and looking at the coffee.

"What no coffee for me?" Bianca yawns as she wakes up. She gets up and sits on the bed taking the coffee cup from me. "Are you okay?" Bianca questions handing the cup back to me.

"Mom wants me to invite my new boyfriend to dinner."

"So?" Bianca shrugs.

"So if I bring you to dinner my mom will go nuclear. I knew we couldn't hide forever but we can't come out, not yet."

"So bring Owen to dinner and pretend he's your boyfriend."

"Have Owen pretend to be my boyfriend? You think he'd do that?"

"We can get dressed and go over and ask him," she replies.

"Okay let's get dressed and go talk to Owen," I nod.

I finish my coffee while getting ready and call to Mom that we're going out as we leave. Owen just lives down the street so we walk and Bianca knocks on the door. Tris answers and lets us in calling to Owen that we're here. We wait for Owen to appear and invite us up to his room before we go upstairs. We go into his room and he closes the door.

"What's up?" Owen asks.

"I need a favor but you don't have to say yes it might be awkward."

 **The update on Thursday will pick up from right here and include dinner with Clare's parents.**


	4. Pretending

**It's really short tonight because of work (of course) and all in Owen's pov. Please note there is no chapter tomorrow night because I have other plans but you only have to wait a week until the next chapter of** _ **Why the Two of Us Should Never Touch.**_

 **Ch. 4 Pretending**

 **(OWEN)**

"What's the favor?" I question after Clare tells me she needs a favor.

"My mom figured out that I've been seeing someone and she wants me to bring my new boyfriend to dinner," Clare explains.

"And you want me to play the boyfriend," I comment and she nods.

"If I bring Bianca to dinner and admit I've been dating here I'm pretty sure you'll never see me again," she remarks.

"No problem I can play the boyfriend at the family dinner," I reply and Clare lets out a sigh of relief.

"Thanks Owen," she grins.

"No problem so what time should I be there?"

"Six, dinner is at six," she says.

"Cool you want to just hang here for the day? Tell me the dos and don'ts of meeting your family? Plus, we should probably get our stories straight," I comment.

"Yeah hanging out here is a good idea," Clare nods. "Let's keep the story simple, I became friends with Bianca and began hanging out with you and then you asked me out. It's all true except for the part about us dating but less chance of getting confused that way," she says.

"Okay simple is good so what about your family? Anything I shouldn't talk about or say?"

"Well you already know Jake and his dad is pretty easy going. My mom will probably ask some questions but just stick as close to the truth as you can. I wouldn't mention throwing Adam into or a door though."

The girls hang at my place until it's time for Clare and I to leave to have dinner at her place. Bianca decides to just stay at my place so she can hear how it went afterward. I drive us to her house and when we walk in Jake's mouth drops open and he looks like might pass out.

"Mom, Glen this is my boyfriend Owen," Clare says.

"You're going out with Owen?" Jake exclaims while I'm shaking hands with his father.

"Well I've been hanging out with him a lot since becoming friends with Bianca and he asked me out," Clare replies and Jake closes him mouth. I can't tell if he's being protective or just shocked.

"It's nice to meet you Owen, dinner's ready please sit down," Clare's mom says.

Jake's dad and Jake remain pretty quiet over dinner but Clare's mom asks me a lot of questions. About my family, my hobbies, my plans after high school and other things. It's kind of amusing actually, I've never been interrogated by my dates family before and I'm not even really dating Clare.

"I'm going to walk Owen out to his car," Clare says after dinner.

"Alright it was nice to meet you Owen," her mom replies.

"Thanks for doing this Owen they believed everything. If I'd brought Bianca to dinner and told Mom I was dating a girl she'd have flipped."

"No sweat, I'll tell Bianca how tonight went and we'll see in school tomorrow," I grin at Clare. I see her mom watching us through the window so lean down placing a tiny kiss on her check while I hug her, "We're being watched," I explain and Clare smiles.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Clare smiles.

"So how'd it go?" Bianca asks when I get home.

"It was fine; her mom asks a lot of questions. You want to crash here tonight?"

"Yeah," she nods.

Bianca stays in my room for a while before she goes to the guest room to sleep. In the morning I drive us and Tris to school. Tris walks ahead of us and goes into school first. Bianca and I are walking slower and talking, at least until we get inside.

"Hey Owen I hear you're dating Clare," Mo hollers from across the hall and everyone in the hall hears.

"News really travels fast," Bianca mutters.

"Well he is friends with Jake. Are you going to be okay with this? We can tell them the truth," I remark.

"No Clare's not ready for that, not sure I'm ready for that. No this will work well for us you keep pretending to date Clare," Bianca says.

"Maybe we should fill Clare in on this plan," I comment.

"Good point let's go wait for her outside."

We go outside sitting on the first picnic table and waiting for Jake's truck. When we see it I stand and Jake stops the truck so Clare can get out, Bianca stays where she is.

"Good morning Girlfriend," I say helping Clare out the truck.

"Morning Boyfriend," she smiles kissing my cheek without missing a beat.

I walk with my arm around her and Bianca joins us as we go inside. The three of us walk down the hall together, Clare between us and my arm around her. We duck into an empty classroom and I lock the door.

"People at school know we're dating, well think we're dating," I tell her.

"Yeah I got that. Are you okay with this? It was just supposed to be one dinner," Clare comments to Bianca.

"Yeah it's the perfect cover, the three of us hang out anyway," Bianca says.

"Like you said we'll keep it simple, I'll walk the halls with my arm around you, maybe holding hands. Kisses on the cheek, if you do it right it can look like you're actually kissing," I tell her.

"And when we're alone I get you all to myself," Bianca smiles gripping Clare's shirt and crushing their lips together. I don't mean to stare at them while they kiss but it's kind of hard not to watch.

"Ready to do this Girlfriend?" I ask Clare holding my arm out to her.

"Let's do this Boyfriend," Clare says linking her arm with mine and we leave the classroom with Bianca following behind.

 **The next update is Sunday and that will be the last update for Short Story month.**


	5. Revealed

**This is the last chapter and it's a little short and really should have been in with the last chapter but I didn't have time.**

 **Enjoy the Clianca sweetness!**

 **Ch. 5 Revealed**

 **(BIANCA)**

"Shall we go pick up your girl for lunch?" I ask Owen as we leave gym.

"You mean your girl," he whispers.

"But no one knows that," I remind him as we walk to Clare's math class.

"Hey girlfriend want to go have some lunch?" Owen asks her. We find her in the hall walking toward her locker with Adam and Alli.

"Yeah just let me put away my backpack," Clare smiles and Owen puts an arm around her. When no one's looking she and I share a secret glance.

"I'll see you in fourth Clare," Adam says waving to Clare after she puts her backpack in her locker.

"Should we go to my house?" Owen asks.

"Yeah let's g…"

"Clare," Eli calls cutting me off. We stop walking and look back at him. "Can we talk alone?"

"What do you want Eli?" She huffs.

"You're not really dating Owen are you?"

"Hey?" Owen exclaims insulted by Eli's comment.

"Yes Eli I'm dating Owen not that it's any of your business," Clare replies putting her arm around Owen just to prove a point to Eli. While I smile at her enraged defiance I feel the stab of jealousy when I see her and Owen holding each other so tightly, looking so much like a couple.

"How could you be with such a…" Eli begins and Owen goes red with rage. Owen lets go of Clare and grabs Eli by the shirt.

"Such a what you psycho goth?" Owen snarls.

"Owen ignore him let's go eat," Clare asserts pulling at his arm.

"You see what he's doing? You want to date someone that can just fly off the handle like this?" Eli asks her.

"You think I fly off the handle? I didn't crash my car to get her attention," Owen growls.

"I didn't throw her best friend into a door," Eli barks shoving Owen away from him.

"Boys you're going to get in trouble for fighting Owen let's just go to lunch," I assert tugging at his shirt.

"Eli just stay out of my dating life," Clare snaps at him and we pull Owen away.

He kind of storms out to his car, I put my arm around Clare and we follow him. Owen is angry all the way to his house and slams his fist on the counter when we get in.

"Owen calm down you know we're not really dating and Eli is just being a jealous idiot," Clare says.

"I know I just…" Owen's sentence trails off as he lets out a deep breath.

"Don't listen to Eli, you apologized to Adam and I know you're a good guy now. What you've done for me and Bianca is something not many people would do," Clare tells him.

"Eli's jealous and possessive he's just pissed because he thinks you have what he used to have. I don't even think it was that personal but you're dating Clare now. Remember how well he reacted to Clare and Jake being together, writing the play and changing the ending trying to sabotage them," I remind him.

"Bianca's right it's just Eli being Eli, ignore him."

"Sorry, I know we're not really dating and it's not a personal attack it just hurts that people still see me as the hot-headed bully from a few years ago," Owen sighs.

"Not everyone does Owen," Clare says.

"Yeah and I never did, you've always been one of my best friends and more like family to me than my own family. Now are we going to eat lunch or not?" I question.

Owen grins hugging us both so tightly we can hardly breathe, then he goes into the kitchen opening the fridge. We make sandwiches for lunch and watch TV while eating. Since we all have a spare for third we just stay at Owen's house until it's time to go back to school. Owen and I both walk Clare to class but of course only he kisses her at the door, just on the cheek but it looks like he really kisses her. After class I find out Bright Sparks is cancelled because half the team has the stomach flu and was absent today. So I send a text to Clare that I'm going home and I'll see her tomorrow.

All the next day I watch her with Owen, watch them pretending to be a couple knowing she's really mine but I can't be with her, at least not in public. I know I said I was okay with it, I know Owen is helping and I know I'm not necessarily ready to go public but it still hurts. It hurts to watch them acting like a couple, holding hands, kissing on the cheek and having to restrain myself from doing the same until we're alone or at least alone with Owen.

"Are you okay?" Clare asks me when we're in her room doing homework Tuesday afternoon.

"Yeah I'm fine just working on this," I pause to look at what text book I'm looking at, "families in Canada homework."

"Bianca you're not okay. It doesn't take you this long to do your homework. Besides you've been staring at that page for the last ten minutes. You've been a little distant for the last couple of days so please talk to me. If you're not okay with me pretending to date Owen then…"

"I am," I cut her off, "sort of. It was basically my idea and I know you guys are just pretending it just hurts that I can't be with you the way he can at school."

"I'm sorry, if I hadn't been so obvious my mom never would have figured out that I was seeing someone. And if she'd never figured it out we wouldn't need Owen to pretend like he's my boyfriend," Clare apologizes.

"It's not your fault, I like that you were so happy because of me that your mom knew you were with someone new. I just wish that everyone knew it was me that put that smile on your face and they didn't think it was Owen," I sigh.

"I know," Clare nods tipping my chin up and capturing my lips for a tender kiss.

 **(CLARE)**

My sleep was restless and I was awake most of the night thinking about what Bianca said and how I felt. I ride to school with her but we're both pretty silent and when we get to school Owen is waiting on the steps for us. Bianca steps away from me just slightly when Owen puts his arm around me to walk into school. I can see how it hurts her that I walk into school on Owen's arm but when I look at her she smiles. They both walk me to media studies and Owen kisses my cheek at the door. I think about this all morning so when they pick me up from class to have lunch I take both their hands.

"Let's eat here instead of your house today," I tell them.

"Okay," Owen shrugs.

"Adam," I catch my best friend before he leaves class.

"Yeah?" Adam asks.

"I'm really dating Bianca, I have been for three weeks in secret and Owen was helping us. Pretending to be my boyfriend because my mom knew I was dating someone new. Will you spread the word and make sure everyone knows please?"

"Uh cool, I'll tell Alli and Jenna that should have the news spread by the end of lunch. You know this is a story I'm going to want to hear later," Adam remarks.

"I promise," I smile before turning to Bianca and giving her a soft kiss. A few people in the hallway see and start whispering. Owen is smiling and so is Adam.

"I think I'll go with Adam and help him spread the word you two enjoy lunch," Owen remarks.

"Are you sure about this?" Bianca asks when Owen and Adam walk away. "I thought you weren't ready to go public? And what about your mom?"

"I'm not entirely ready to go public but I don't like pretending with Owen either or how it hurts you. As for my mom well I don't know. I'm not expecting a good reaction; in fact I'm expecting her to disown me but being afraid of her reaction isn't going to stop me. I'm not going to live in fear, besides I'm sixteen if she kicks me out I'll live on my own. Maybe I can move in with Alli and take Sav's old room."

"Clare I don't want to be the reason you and your mom stop speaking."

"You make me happy, whether I'm lesbian or bi or experimenting I don't but I know you make me happy and if my mom can't accept my happiness because it's with a girl then I don't want to be around her. Now come on let's go eat in the caf and show people how happy we are," I assert holding Bianca's hand and pulling her toward the caf. We don't even make it to the caf before Jake comes over.

"Whoa it's true I thought Alli had lost it. So you and Bianca huh? I guess I kind of saw it. So what about your mom? Are you going to tell her?"

"If I don't she's bound to find out some other way and then she'll really be pissed. I'll tell her today, I'll understand if you don't want to be there," I tell Jake.

"I really don't but I have a feeling that you'll need support and that Bianca shouldn't be anywhere near the house when you tell your mom."

"He's right, you should be at home or at least at Owen's," I tell Bianca.

"I'll be at Owen's just call me after, so shall we go eat?" Bianca asks.

"Yes let's g…"

"Clare," Eli calls running over.

"You want me to stick around?" Jake asks.

"No we can handle this," I reply but Jake still lingers. "What do you want Eli?"

"You're dating Bianca not Owen?"

"What of it death boy?" Bianca snarls.

"I just…so are you gay?" Eli questions.

"I don't know Eli all I know is Bianca makes me happy," I smile at her.

"Yeah so if you try and make things difficult for us I will make you regret it," Bianca threatens.

"I just don't…I…" Eli stumbles over his words.

"I think you two should go eat in the caf now," Jake says gently pushing us toward the caf.

People start whispering in the caf as they watch us together and by the end of the day the whole school knows about me and Bianca. Everyone is shocked but most people take it pretty well. Some people actually figure after my last two relationships with boys and how they ended that it's no wonder I became lesbian. In the DeGrassi Daily meeting one of them wants to write a story about me and Bianca but aside from that no one else says anything. Bianca waits for me and drives me home after her Bright Sparks meeting and my DeGrassi Daily meeting.

"I'll be at Owen's call me when you're done and let me know how it goes," Bianca says before snatching my lips for a quick kiss.

"I might just come over, I'm fairly certain I don't want to be here tonight," I reply before getting out of the car. I wave to Bianca when I get to my door and she drives off. Jake is already home and I start on my homework until the door opens and Mom gets home.

"This is it," Jake comments as we set down our books.

"Mom I need to tell you something," I announce as soon as she's through the door.

"Right this second?" Mom laughs.

"It's kind of important."

"Okay so what is it?"

"Owen is a good friend and he was helping me but we aren't really dating. I am seeing someone but it's Bianca not Owen," I confess and Mom freezes.

"You cannot be dating a girl," Mom snaps.

"I can actually and I am and it's my choice. You don't have to like it but Bianca makes me happy and she's my girlfrien…"

"GET OUT!" Mom screams.

"Mom I know you're not happy about it but I…"

SMACK mom slaps me across the face cutting me off and Jake grabs her arm pushing her away from me. I knew she wouldn't be happy but I'm shocked that she actually hit me. I hold my hand to my cheek, I can still feel the sting of my mom's hand.

"Don't you ever touch her again. She is your daughter and she is happy that should be enough for you whether you understand or not. If you raise your hand to her again I swear that I will have you arrested," Jake growls at her.

"She is not my daughter and she is no longer welcome in this house," Mom hisses while Jake takes my hand pulling me outside.

"Should I take you to Bianca?"

"Owen's house, she's at Owen's house," I tell Jake. I show him how to get to Owen's house and Jake comes to the door with me. Everyone is eating dinner when Tris lets us in.

"I take it by the looks on your faces it didn't go very well," Bianca says.

"Would you two like to join us for dinner?" Owen's mom offers.

"Thanks I'm starved and I don't think Helen is cooking," Jake comments. They make a couple places for us at the table Mrs. Milligan fixes us a couple of plates.

"So your mom lost it I take it?" Owen asks.

"Helen slapped her and kicked her out," Jake answers for me.

"She hit you!" Bianca exclaims.

"That's terrible you poor thing, you can stay here as long as you need to. You can move into the guestroom," Mrs. Milligan tells me.

"That's very kind of you Mrs. Milligan, I'd like to think that my mom will calm down in a couple of days but I don't think she will," I sigh.

"You want to sleep here tonight too Jake? There's plenty of space," Owen offers.

"Yeah probably a good idea," Jake nods.

We finish dinner and then we set up where everyone will be sleeping. Jake is bunking on Owen's floor and Bianca is sleeping with me in the guest room. We spend some time with Owen and Jake before Bianca and I want to go to the guest room, but before we do I pull Jake out to the hallway.

"Thank you for being with me this afternoon and standing up to my mom like that. You were there for me and you didn't judge when you found out I was with Bianca. You're a good brother Jake," I smile hugging him tightly.

"I'm just glad you're happy and at least I know you'll be taken care of here," Jake says and I smile. I say goodnight to Owen and Jake then Bianca and I go down to the guest room.

"Are you sure this is all worth it?" Bianca asks me when we're alone in the room.

"I'm sure that you make me happy and I'm sure that you're worth everything," I reply cupping Bianca's chin and capturing her lips.

 **So that does it for this story I hope you all enjoyed the Clianca fluff. Replacing this on Thursday, September 1** **st** **will be** _ **I Need Your Love Much More than I Want it.**_


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